It’s been a month since my friend Megan passed away. It still feels so unreal. I feel as though I should still be able to call her.

Nobody can say with certainty what happens to us when the stream of consciousness leaves the body. I only hope that Megan’s suffering left her also.

I like to imagine that she is doing all the things that we cant in life. I imagine that she’s somewhere flying high in the clouds. Because her character reflected goodness, I like to think that Megan is in all the simple and good things of life. I think Megan is in the beautiful sunrise. I think she’s in the sound of the wind that blows through the trees in the hills near my home. I think she’s in the space between the start and finish of anything wonderful and new.

I knew Megan well. She smiled with her eyes. She walked with elegance. She spoke with wit and grace. She didn’t think very highly of herself, but I did. I saw her true Buddha nature. She gave her love to everybody. She gave it away unconditionally. She was an ally to the students at the school who needed an ally. It’s hard to put a finger on it, but she had a very caring and feminine quality to her personality. Megan’s smile was infectious. When she smiled, I smiled also. She was valuable in the world. My heart is weighted with regret because there were things I could have done, things I should have done and things I should have said. God knows I tried. I tried to pick her up. I’ve cried for so many nights because, for someone who gave away so much love and kindness, she couldn’t figure out how to extend that same kindness to herself.

Rest in awareness forever Megan…

Erik H.