My blog has turned into a diary. I didn’t plan for it to be this way. But I also know better that to obstruct the process with thoughts of how I wish things to be. My life has not turned out how I wanted it to be at all. But it’s turned out to be a journey of a lifetime. So exciting!
Once upon a lifetime, I was this weirdo high school chunk boy. And then one day, I was this bodybuilding boy with nothing in my way. And at some point I was this guy with lifelong plans to be married and doing the husband and dad thing. Not to add, there was this stoner dude version of myself with the whole lifestyle to go with it. Cant forget rugby Erik. There was skater boy. There was church boy. So many people.
There was some lows in the mix to. The Erik who lost a friend, the Erik who lost his love, the Erik who lost his health, the Erik who lost his religion, and the Erik who lost himself. I came out on tome every damn time! Legendary that is…
I turn 24 next Wednesday. What on phenomenal 24 years it has been. The good the bad. It’s been the journey of a life time.
My journey the last few years has been something indescribable. I’ve wandered far away from who I used to be. I’ve seen many versions of myself come and go. I forget to remind myself sometimes that I’ve journeyed far, always adapting and overcoming. What an exciting story book so far. There’s so much more to be lived.
But let me tell you…
This summer was pure life. Life on top. Life for the pure sake of life. Spring ended. I could feel the pendulum begging to swing back the other direction. The knowledge of that was a great source of complete trust. Trust in the process. Fearlessness was how I became. I couldn’t explain it, but the most strange and new occurrences fell into my life and all from out of nowhere. I fell untouched. Everything was happening, but it made no difference to me inside. Habit and thought processes which I had been battling for a while consequently fell away on their own. They lost their power. I took my rightful seat as the who decides how this being is going to be. For me, there was a new meaning to the expression “roll with the punches”. Ingenious advice. Only I think of it in different terms. There, are so many forces in this universe. There is so much force in life and soul. Life should be in unison with the rest of creation. And if there’s on attribute which I’ve seen in all my observations, it’s that everything is in a constant state of changing. So how can we not also welcome the change?
But, I don’t worship suffering! I worship happiness and well being. We are all perfectly equipped human life, Human life, with the capability to be loyal to the moment that is now. If there’s anything i wish people to have in their experience, it’s the liberation of being loyal to the fullness that pervades body, mind and soul. It’s right here for us. In every moment, the grace of life is in abundance. This summer, I tasted the fruit. And I can’t forget or deny that which I was. It is not my belief! It is my experience.
Please, be kind to yourself and meditate. You owe it to yourself to be with you. It’s not nice to be distracted from yourself all day. We should try to get down to the bottom of that. It has definitely served me well. Last thing before I log off. I’d wany to thank my friend who left us only a few months ago. Megan gave me the inspiration to take that step. After you left, I knew it was time. I think of you often Megan!
Thank you and goodnight!
Erik H.
The twenties are known to be developmental years. Thank you for writing about yours. My favorite blog posts to read are the diary type.
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