I’ll be going soon. I don’t know when, I just know that I feel the time coming closer. This is what my heart is calling for. It’s calling my name, I can begin to hear it. This pilgrimage is knocking on my door.
I am beginning to see what you saw now. It’s exciting. It’s new. It’s unburdened.
I am beginning to hear what you heard. It sounds like utter silence. Peaceful quiet.
I have your things. You left them with me. I’ll be going to see you soon. You remember what we used to do?
Cigarettes after sex,
A fresh bowl of green,
The quiet of the night and the landscape of your backyard,
Snow covered trees,
We used to sit there and not say much,
I took that time for granted,
It was quiet,
It was peaceful
We were low, but we had each others presence…
2 thoughts on “Cigarettes After Sex”
I found your blog by accident but I enjoyed reading about your friend Megan. I found her photo and information about her on a YouTube video about people that have committed suicide. I’m so sorry that your friend took her life. As I read on your blog, it seems as though you are planning on joining her. I hope and pray that you don’t. Living can be painful at times…I lost my husband…a long time ago to illness, not suicide…but I was able to have a happy life again. Therapy helped, having been left with 2 little boys to raise, my friends and family were there for me and my faith. The pain for everyone else here on Earth when a loved one dies is sometimes unbearable. I hope to come back to this blog again and continue to read posts written by you….you have a wonderful talent in writing! God bless you!
Janel in NJ
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Janel, thank you and bless your heart. The future is always uncertain but today is in my hands. And today I have a smile on my face. Thanks for your kind words. Its took me a few days to process, but this comment came to me unexpectedly. Could you please tell me the YouTube video you refer to? Megan and her passing still weigh heavily on me, and I’m curious as to what you refer to. Sat Nam Janel!