First Love

I met my first love when I was still a teenager. This was the first time in my life to have this experience. Now, I can only speak of it retrospectively, otherwise this narrative may be different. She swept me right off my feet. This person gave herself up helplessly and asked so little in return. I loved her for that and my love never expires.

In my whole life, there have been two people only who have seen through from outside to inside. She was one. Something remains the same now that was the same when I met her. It wasn’t very hard for me to imagine myself without a life long partner. That always seemed more likely to me than a married life. That is the same now, but it was different then. All of this of course was not relevant when I was nineteen.

I met this angel. I couldn’t say too much about the beautiful journey we took together. Words wouldn’t do it justice. It was just pure lovely. I can say the impression she left me. There were two things about this person that I knew undoubtedly.

Thing one is that she had the most striking and glowing face. Her eyes were more blue than the sky and round like diamonds. Her smile lit the room and made me butterfly every time I saw it. She always smelt sweet like roses. I’m not sure how she managed this. Even when she was dirty, she still smelt like flower.

Thing two is that she exhumed goodness. I never knew somebody and pure and good as this person. She was so selfless. Very giving and never greedy. She was never selfish and always caring of the needs of others. This was the greatest quality. It was overwhelming maybe. Such to the level that it may have contributed to our ultimate dissolution. She often neglected the needs of her own welfare for the benefit of others. But I could never ask her to be any other way. This was a quality that I looked up to her for.

There needed to be some time and space between then and now. That place and time is near now. I can’t neglect that part of the story. As lovely and great as it was, it was also sad. Sadness wont do it justice. I have waited and waited. There had to be the perfect time to read it over again. Why? Because it deserves another read. It was such a great chapter. The greatest so far actually. An epilogue so great deserves just the right words. And for me to put the right words down requires the right disposition. This is a matter of intuition. My intuition tells me that the time is becoming appropriate. I cannot express enough gratitude to the creator. It was not me that put her in my story. It was undoubtedly someone other than me. I don’t fuss to much to ask, “Why me?” I’ve said this before — I never look a gifted horse in the mouth. Pure and humble gratitude is the most appropriate terms in retrospect. Because I lived so much with this person. I learned so much from this person. I gained so much from this person. I owe this person much. Thank you love!

Sat Nam

Erik H.

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